Shawn McCleary, Evening DJ

I was born in Hamilton, Ontario. My mother was a motorcycle and my father was an eighteen wheeler ... I was a transformer for the first few years.

They promised the insanity was temporary. I have it in writing - invisible ink, of course. All important documents are written in invisible ink. This one time teacher took my white crayon - I was scrawling classifieds about her performance for the principal. Despite my best efforts to stop her, she successfully destroyed my report and I was exiled. I joined the circus when I was 8 and travelled the globe. There was this one night in Bangkok ... it's the last thing I remember before I woke up in here. Oh, excuse me, my orange juice has arrived. I'll finish this in a few minutes ...

... Now, where was I? ... Right, orange juice is delicious. I like the kind with the pulp.